After So Long.........

Wow, I have not blog for almost 5 months. I was really busy, no doubt. After July trip To Toronto, I went again for family trip in September. It was a lot of hard work to take care of the little ones for 3 weeks. In October, I went to Paris, my company HQ. We were being treated very nicely, I hope they do this kind of meeting once a year. I then had my own team meeting in KL in end of October. The family went to Chennai in November to see their relatives that they have not met. This year, the family really traveled quite a bit. The kids went to Perth, Toronto and India this year. I hope they enjoy them while I am still heartaching about my money spent on those trips.

So what brings me to blog today? I have a new set of eyes. YES, Lasik was done yesterday and today I regained most of my eye sight. It is still blurry when I look at the screen or lights but I think it will improve gradually. Am I glad that I have done it? I really don't know. Yesterday, I almost wanted to kill those who encouraged me. I experienced so much pain in my eyes after the surgery. When my eyesight slowly came back, I guess my brain was trying to adjust and that caused me dizziness. It was so bad that I lied in my bed regretting it. After 4 painkiller and a goodnight sleep, today I feel better. I still have to be very careful with my eyes for 1week but I could do most of the daily activities, may be not carrying the kids because they may accidentally bump into my eyes. I think when the pain is over, I will assess again whether I have done the right thing for myself.

Doctor gave me 3 days off, 1 more day than what she normally gives to her patients because I complained about the pain. Yeh, I am going to enjoy lunch with my friends. Don't get it wrong, I really can't work because looking at the screen needs concentration and that dries up my eyes quickly and then they hurt. I have to put eye drops every 5 mins, so I am still not fit for work. I do think I choose the right time to do this surgery so I can rest over the long weekend.

For those that thinking to do Lasik, we can talk 1 month later :-)

Sign of Aging?

When my mum was 50s, she told me she feel old. She said the same thing when she was 60s and now she is in her 70s. I always thoughts, you should not say that you are old because once you think you are old, you are old. But we can't admit that when time past by, we really feel the difference we are not young anymore.

I am in Toronto for business. I had flew to the west for meeting several times before but the jet lag had never hit me so badly. I tried very hard to adjust the time, like not sleeping in the afternoon when I feel sleepily, I expose myself to the sun, I drank lots of water and eat less carb but no use. Even though I was awake but my mind goes blank in the afternoon. I find it so hard to concentrate and not able to really enjoy the people around me. In the past, meeting like this I was able to work through the day and night, check my mails and sometimes took conference calls.

I do not want to admit it but if this is not sign of aging, what is this then?

July is No Spending Month

June was a shopping season for Singapore. The crazy Singapore sales got tome and we bought quite a few things. My month credit card bill has been so high for the past 3 months and I did not save any cash. One day I work up and declared that July is a no spending month, which means we are not going to buy things that we do not need.

On the 4th day, I went shopping with D and I saw a set of pot was on big discount. I did not buy any pots or utensil when I moved in with D. I continue to use his pot and plates that he brought from Canada. The pot handlers were plastic and they couldn't survive the gas stove any longer. It starts to fall out and it can be dangerous. Is that a must for me to get the pot now, may be not but it was a a good discount and something I have been looking for long. At the end, I used gift voucher to buy the pots. It cost S$129 but since we do not want to spend S$21 unnecessary, I used credit card to pay $29 and used S$100 voucher which I got from colleagues for A's full moon.

I am still holding on not to buy things this month. I hope it can be a success.

Adult Time

D and I finally took time to date, after many complaints to them that our marriage was in danger. I may have over exaggerated but we absolutely needed to do something. Work and children had been keeping us very busy. Spending time together seems to be our last priority. Anyway, we had a good time on Saturday. We attended a church seminar in the morning, head down town to a nice Japanese restaurant for lunch, did some shopping, I had my massage and he went to sit around at coffee bean and waited for me, just like old days. I can't imagine how much I miss this kind of life. When will the kids grow up so that I can have this kind of life more often? I know many couple do this once a week to have some adult time together to maintain relationship. I hope D really set some time for me, not always travel, works and his family.

Old Habit

Lately I sleep very late, 2, 3am in the morning.

Why I sleep so late? I guess I like the quiet time at night, just me, all other people are sleeping.

What do I do when I sleep so late? Sadly, I work.

Are those work that important? Probably not but I like taking my time and doing it slowly.

5 years ago, people commented that I had this lifestyle because I had no date.

Now the dating, wedding, giving birth are all over and I am back to my old living habit again.

Can anyone explain why is that?

Shopping

Today was a big shopping day for us, it wasn't planned but just turned out that way.

In the morning, we finally bought a pair of nice sneaker for N. NB, cost us S$55. I finally give up cost saving and decided that  N should have a nice shoes to run about. So far, he has been going out with his fake crocs that cost S$5. We were pleased with the purchase, especially N. Sometimes it amazed me that even 2 years old know what is shopping and buying nice stuff.

In the evening, we went to return a pair of pants that D didn't like and came back with 3 GAP shirt for D. It was a really good bargain, we had never bought GAP shirt for S$32 each. D bought 3 of them and now I am concern he looks too good at the office. After all, D is an attractive man and I am still dealing with post pregnancy hair loss. I also bought 5 pairs of socks for N, cost S$12 and 7 brief for A, cost S$18. 

Oh, I forgot to mention what happened at GAP shop. N saw his father trying on shirt, so he always wanted to do the same. So we went to kids section and picked up 2 shirt and join his father at the fitting room. N just looked so good in those GAP shirt and long sleeves T-shirt. He admired himself at the mirror for a while and keep asking me, 'Mama, buy!'. We decided not to spend the money as he already has many shirts. What I wanted to say was, those branded stuff really make you look good. Even though is just a shirt but once you wear it, the material and look just make you can't resist.

Everyone went home happily. I didn't get anything but I was happy that I spent money on them

Full Time Mum?

June month is Singapore school holiday. My baby sitter took a week off to bring her children back to her home town. I gladly agree even though that means D & I had to take turn and take day off from work to take care of the kids at home. It ended up that I took Monday to Wednesday off and D took Thursday and Friday off. When comes to taking care of the kids, most of the time we are quite equal.

People always asked me the big question, will you resign and take care of your children. Actually it is not something up to me because I needed the money to maintain our lifestyle. But one will say, money is not everything.. I always think it would be good if I can have a less stressful and demanding work which allows me to do a 9-5 job, then it would be ideal. However, on the other hand, I am kind of a workaholic, I would think less of myself if I don't have a career. Sad to say that I use my career to validate myself.

So after 3 days being full time mum at home, the answer is still no, I really do not see myself as a stay home mum. I respect those who are because they are doing a job that is so big, so much scarifies and so little glamourous reward.

Colombo

Rotitelur used to travel frequently to Sri Lanka for work from 1999-2000. I think I have been there 8-9 times, sometime stayed for 2 weeks or so. Although there was concerns about security but I had enjoyed all the trips. I know few friends there whom I still stayed in touch and they were really really nice to me. 

Last week, I had the chance to visit the country once again because of work. Colombo has changed a lot. The airport is bigger and nicer now. There are more restaurants in town. More shopping places. In short, just like any developing country, Colombo is getting more charming than 9 years ago. I am sure that this place will continue to develop given that now the civil war has ended.

D has a friend who is an expat there. British husband, Thai wife with 1 beautiful children, 7 years old girl and 4 years old boy. So this friend of D invited me home for dinner. I had the best home cook Thailand ever, much better than any Thai restaurant I have been with, no kidding, it was that good. 

So, Colombo, I will definitely come back again.

Global Warming

My daughter has a nickname called the AC girl. She does not like the heat, it really bothers her when  she feels warm, she will scream on the top of her voice in the middle of the night. When I heard that, most of the time she has wet the bed, not her wee wee but her sweat.

Lately I notice that the temperature in Singapore is getting warm, uncomfortably warm. I can't help to think what kind of temperature will be in Singapore when my children grow up. I used to think that as human and technology evolve, human will find a way to resolve the global warming issue. This is something for the scientist to worry about, no normal human being like myself. There is nothing to worry about. My view has changed now, I think if I would, I will make sure I become an environmental friendly person, just for the sake of my children.

Please do your part and support to save the earth.

Listen To Your Old Folks

Lately a reader of mine just welcomed his new born. This was a joyful occasion and we were all happy for him. As every parent, I believe the new parent also suffer some sleepless nights. There is always mixed emotion in parenting, excitement, anxiety, frustration....you name it. This brings back my memory when I was a new parent and I have few words to share with my friends out there on how to make your life better. It is simple, listen and follow what your parent did to you when you were baby.

When I first had my baby, I chose to go the opposite of what my mum told me to, thinking that her ways were out dated and no scientific prove to support that. For example, she urged me to put the baby into sarung for nap and bounce the baby but I said no because it would make the baby be accustomed to the motion and not able to sleep by himself. I also fight for a long time not to give pacifier but at the end, after listening to the PD, I let the baby use pacifier to help him to sleep better. I also against my mum's view of giving the baby a special pillow so that he could associate that with sleeping. Because of these fights against the old method of bring up a child, I found that I brought to myself more trouble and more work. Not only my son didn't get enough sleep, I also lost my sleep trying to claim him and sooth him to sleep.

So I learned from my experience of the first one. When the second one comes, the pacifier, sarung and pillow all come together. Not that my baby sleeps well and grow well, she is also a happy and contended baby. Is that really that good? no side effect? will she able to kick all those habit, I am not sure but it is already a blessing seeing her growing up well. 

So parents out there, sometimes those old methods may have some truth in it. Do not think that you studied more than your mum and ignore them. There is a saying, mum eat salt more than we eat rice. When comes to childcare, experience that counts.

Missing The News

I was in HK last week attending meetings. Before I left, I remember a kiasu tips which was to pre order the food on line with Singapore Airline. Just as what I expected, my food came first before others and it taste good. I think I will do the same next time.

HK was still the same, I was busy and couldn't meet up with some of my friends. I did meet up with one friend of mine who recently got connected again in Facebook. I was glad to see that she was doing well, probably getting married soon and live happily ever after. In our conversation, I learned about the Edison Chen scandal. I am not sure what happened in my life when the scandal happened, I missed the news entirely. Until now, I still couldn't see how I could miss such a big news of HK. D said it was because I did not red newspaper everyday. He did not know he is my newspaper. 

There is a price to pay to be famous. You have no privacy and you are constantly being judged of what you do and what you say. I am wondering if it worth it.

Next Generation

Today I finally spent time to open the ang pau my children. To my my surprise, both of them collected worth S$740 of ang pau. I am thinking, friends and relatives were generous but it could also due to inflation. 

I remember when I was young, I used to received ang pau in coins, 50 cents or 20 cents, I would happily put it into my piggy bank. My dad used to give us a piggy bank each to teach us how to save money. I am doing the same for my son but I wonder how he view money in future. The life of next generation is going to be so different than us. They are exposed to all the high end stuff and have little concept of saving penny. 

Parent in my generation are also very fortunately. Most of us are living a middle to high class life where we are not short of anything in life. Often, because the number of kids are less in the family, parent would not hesitate to buy the high end stuff for their kids. They think that they could afford, why not. I am not sure what kind of side effect would be bring to our next generation? Will they be able to live a simple life and still happy about it?

Stars Purchases

In the past 2 years, we have bought a lot of things for my 2 kids. Some of them were good purchases and some were waste of money or unnecessary. These are some 'star purchases' that I would like to share with my friends who have baby at home. They make life much easier and it is worth to spend the money.

(1) Baby Bouncer is very useful as it gives your young infant an alternative place to hang out other than his bed. The bouncing effect makes them feel comfortable. I have one that can rock and vibrate but the vibration is not necessary. You can buy a hanger of toys as add on, something to entertain the baby when he is awakes. Mine is from fisher price, cost about S$100. My friends got this for me as a gift. 

(2) Tricycle is very useful if you have active toddler that like to go out but do not like to sit in the pram anymore. My son started to use it when he was about 10 months old. The beauty of this is that it has a post which you can steer to where you want to go, there is a basket for you to put the water bottle for the little one, there is a bar at the seat to prevent toddler from falling and you can remove the foot rest when the toddler is older where he can then paddle. I don't really care for the sun shade as it doesn't do much and block my view of the toddler. I bought this at Carrefour and paid about S$50 for it. 

(3) Foam Mat is good for infant and toddler to hang out. It helps define the place where they can play so that toys will not be everywhere on the floor. It is safe for infant who is learning how to roll over. Kids like colorful thing and some mat can be a puzzle for them to play as well. The only thing is you need to assemble them back for them.  For convenience purpose, you can buy the 2 feet wide but the 1 feet is more common and can make it more prevailing for kids. To make a 4 by 4 feet area, it cost around S$25.

Company Cost Cutting Measures (2)

Speaking of company cost cutting measures, I almost forgot that I was one of the victim. I had a promising career in the company, they told me I was in the top talent group and gave me stock option but one fine day, they sold me to another company, together with almost 2000 people worldwide. My perspective of work has changed since then. I felt betrayed, loyalty is worthless, hard work is not appreciated and promises are all lies. I do know that I am already much fortunate than those people who lose their job or had a pay cut but doesn't mean that I cannot complain about this.

Throughout the past many years, there are also many jobs moved from high cost country to low cost country. We benifit when jobs moved to us and we suffer when jobs move away from us. I am glad that I only did that when when the opportunity present itself in my organization. This is a business world, perhaps this is the reality that we all need to face. The survival skill is really do the job well, have respect with others and add value to the company. 

Company Cost Cutting Measures (1)

Last Friday, I came into the office and found that the coffee machine was turned off. I thought it broke down and since I wanted to cut back on coffee, I decided to buy a can of coke instead. I went to my usual place to use the vending machine but found out that the machine was switched off. I checked 2 more floors that I knew where vending machines were installed and I was disappointed. They either took away the machine or the machine wasn't working.

This morning a colleague stopped by to chat with me and in the conversation, he told me that the free coffee machine were all disabled in the office! I wasn't surprised as there was news that I-kei  in other country also stopped providing free coffee and tea. In times like this, it wasn't hard to implement such measure because the choices are obvious, a job or free coffee but what upset people is that why they kept quiet about that and just switched off all the machines. Not only that, why don't they install more coins vending machine for the convenience of the staff? I hope they do not have an agreement with the cafeteria tenant that they will not install vending machine so that all businesses will go to the cafeteria. The price difference is huge, coke from vending machine cost 80 cents but from the cafeteria, it cost S$1.30!

Another cost cutting measure that took place last year was getting rid of the dustbin in each workstation. They put a bigger one at the pantry or corner of the building. In this way, the cleaner only need to pickup rubbish from few places and hence they can reduce the number of people that needed to work in the office. I personally think this is a smart idea to cut cost and it does not really bothers me.

Anything else that you see in your office? Feel free to share.

Missing my past life

My 5th year wedding anniversary is approaching. I feel like I have not live my own life for the past 3 years because I was busy making babies. While I still have time to consider number 3, I figure I should find a way to gain back my life or I will be so sucked into life and not happy about it. 

So how was life before babies? Today I asked D what kind of life he would live if he wasn't married with 2 kids, he said he would not live in Singapore or even he lives in Singapore, he would not buy a car, probably buy an apartment in the city and enjoy 'sex and the city' lifestyle.

As for my life before babies, it was nothing great but I just miss it so much. I miss the freedom I had so much. The freedom of getting out of bed anytime I wanted on the weekend, the freedom of eat or skip a meal, the freedom of watching a movie in the cinema, the freedom of going for holiday when I feel like it. I also miss the time I have where I can do more for my work or catch up with what is going on around me. Today I just realize that I do not know if I could buy music online in Singapore if I own an iPhone. I feel that I am so outdated.

Well, I cannot turn back the clock. Unless I can be forever young, else if I age with no partner and kids, it is also not the kind of life I want to. I have a blessed life, I cannot complain.